Monday, April 23, 2012

The 9 Steps

Let's face it...we must fight the addiction. Why show undiminished love to an organization that treats us as though we're Cinderella and they're the evil sisters? We need our own 'program' to help us break free from this enabling.

Here are our nine steps toward intellectual freedom.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over being a fan, that our compulsion needed to be beaten. We had begun with Boston caps, and moved on to jackets, to blankets...like Jimmy Fallon, only worse. 
  2. Came to believe that NESN would only lead us to self-destruction. 
  3. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of alternative life choices, playing with our children, walking, reading, and not listening to sports radio.
  4. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to the highest living Red Sox charismatic figure, Johnny Pesky, that we needed to change...channels.
  5. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortstop and fix our bullpen and lack of player accountability.
  6. Made a list of all the times we had been harmed, starting with Saturday's 15-9 defeat, and became willing to atone for them all.
  7. Continued to take personal inventory, and as we were wrong, promptly stopped watching baseball and wearing Red Sox gear, especially publicly.
  8. Sought through prayer and medication to improve our delirium, our fandom, our misery. We shall have no false dogs before us.
  9. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Soxoholics, and to abide by these promises henceforth, Werner without end, Amen.
We need a statewide day of no Red Sox gear displayed...a start toward exorcising the demons.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

nice idea.. thanks for sharing.