Friday, January 20, 2006

Say the Secret Word, Win 100,000 dollars

Terms of Theo Epstein's agreement to return to the Boston Red Sox as a fulltime employee are not available. However, our crack staff has infiltrated the Red Sox hierarchy and has some clues.

1. Theo will no longer have to fetch coffee for unnamed superiors.
2. Every time Larry Lucchino says the secret word (rhymes with toy), the Groucho Marx duck will drop down and Theo gets 100 grand.
3. Larry Lucchino now comes into the office heavily duct taped.
4. The farm system can no longer be indiscriminately raided (Bagwell for Andersen)
5. The co-GMs will no longer be required to call the CEO, Mr. Lucchino
6. Mr. Henry will install a Bloomberg terminal in Theo's office as a token of his appreciation
7. Mr. Lucchino will find his Bloomberg terminal missing
8. Mr. Lucchino's telephone is no longer working
9. The co-GMs agree to stop calling Mr. Lucchino 'Rainman'
10.Manny agrees to stay in return for Theo putting a down payment on Manny's penthouse

8 comments:

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Mike said...

I am not a fan of Larry Lucchino, but do think the public flogging has gone on long enough. Theo has publicly stated there is no rivalry between himself and Larry. Larry has stated something like that in a weaselly sort of way. Further, JWH has made some comments that give a little more insight into what really happened during the negotiations, which do not allude to a rivalry being behind the breakdown:

http://sonsofsamhorn.net/index.php?showtopic=1692&view=findpost&p=110481

I guess I am one of those people who believes that all negativity contributes to an environment where bad things happen. The press has been ripping Theo apart since the announcement, the bloggers have been making all kinds of jokes about Larry, and I wonder what it is all getting us.

Theo is back, we want the Sox to win, and keeping the heat on Larry ad nauseum serves no purpose. The fact is the Red Sox would be worse off without him and in all likelyhood he is going to be around for a long time to come. It is in everyone's interest (fans, players, FO included) for this to go away, and for everyone to get along going forward. I am willing to give Larry the benefit of the doubt if it means there will be harmony in operations and the Sox will win us another one.

M

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